"I'm past patiently waiting, I'm passionately smashing every expectation, every action is an act of creation" ~Hamilton: An American Musical
There are so many incredible lines in Hamilton, Lin Manuel Mirada is truly a lyrical genius, but this is the one running through my head over and over right now. It's been a really crazy year... more than a year now, you ALL know what I mean, and in addition to all the things we, worldwide, have been going through, I've had a LOT going on in my personal life too. All of this has lead to a lot of self-reflection and even life-reflection. I've spent so much time thinking about the future my husband and I have dreamed up together, and whether the things we are doing today are creating the tomorrows that our hearts desire. I bet you can guess what I've discovered... a lot of the things we're doing today are NOT! You know, people are always talking about being patient, waiting for the right time, etc... and that's perfectly good advice for things that we have no control over, but what about the things we DO have control over? The outcomes that we are CURRENTLY creating by the choices we make every day... we aren't leaving those things up to fate, we're just making choices that won't come to conclusions that we want. It can be so much easier to pretend that life is all up to fate and that we have to just patiently wait for the life we want to just... happen. but seriously guys, that's SO NOT how it works!
So I'm PAST patiently waiting, been there and tried that, it didn't work!
You know what else I've been wrestling with? EXPECTATIONS, ugh! My own expectations for myself and my life, other people's expectations (girl let me tell you, people have a LOT to say when you're not fitting into their mold) The expectations my husband has for me (and the ones I THINK he has, but he doesn't actually). Expectations of my family and my husband's family, my friends, our church... it never ends! The thing is... most of these expectations are just PERCEIVED expectations, meaning no one actually holds them, I just think they do because anxiety. Regardless, expectations will RUIN your life, you have to keep those guys under control! Build the future you believe in, outside of expectations, outside of the "status quo" outside of the molds you and others will try to fit you into, and the walls they will try to build around you.
So I'm PASSIONATELY smashing EVERY expectation
My husband and I have HUGE dreams for our life together... call us naive, but we really do believe in these dreams, I believe in these dreams! I know a lot of people who wanted something more in their lives, but they thought it could never happen, they thought it was fate, or they believed that it wasn't worth putting in the work. I have watched those people put their heads down and stick to the status quo, living a "normal" life. I LOVE a lot of those people, and it devastates me to see that they gave up, and I don't blame them because their reasons do make sense... but I don't want to mirror that. I can't do anything about the people who stopped creating the future they dreamed of, but I can choose to walk a road less travelled. I want to create something that is not just beautiful for myself and my husband and our future family, but something that will be beautiful for the people around us (maybe it will inspire them to create something too) something that will change our lives AND the lives of our community. Something we can raise our children in, and that they can raise their children in, giving way to generations that will persevere. I believe that we can build that one moment, one choice, one excuse UNEXCUSED at a time.
Every action is an act of creation.
